Digital Dads

I love the holiday season. For me, it isn’t about the gifts, the glitter or big sales. For me it is about all the sappy stuff. The time with family, the good moods, the great conversations and the quality time spent with other people.

I hate an empty house on the holidays so we have an open invitation to our family that they are always invited down for Thanksgiving. Sometimes they come. Sometimes they go elsewhere. The above photo is from our house last year as we were dishing out dessert.

This Thursday my parents, little brown brother (Abe the Chocolate lab), sisters, aunt, cousin and their husky puppy Aero will be coming down. It’ll send my house into complete chaos as it fills with the smells of the turkey roasting and the sounds of the first holiday music on the stereo. Yes, we have a ban on our house of holiday music not being allowed before Thanksgiving and we always play Alice’s Restaurant at least once for my dad. (As an aside, if you need some new holiday music I highly suggest Allison Crowe’s Tidings.)

The key to successfully surviving a holiday like this is to be able to laugh. My family is not the norm I know. We all get along. We enjoy spending time together and actually look forward to it. Sure, every once and a while someone will drive someone else nuts, but for the most part it’s all good.

But, what if you don’t like spending time with your family and have to? Here are some tips that should help you get through it without becoming an outcast.

• Be Like A Duck
  Ducks let water run off them all the time. You don’t have to react to every little thing. Let the snide remark or stupid comment just roll off you like water and move on. Save your reactions for the big ones.
• Get Outside
  A hot kitchen and a room full of people can get to anyone. Mini cabin fever sets in and that won’t help anyone’s mood. If things are getting for you, put on a jacket and go for a walk. The fresh air will do you good and give you time to fume away from the masses.
• Drink, But Don’t Get Drunk
  Just like at the office holiday party a drink can loosen things up, but the last thing you want to do is get overly drunk and do something stupid. We all know that we make bad decisions after too many drinks. This is worse when you are with family so be smart about it.
• Be Helpful
  You’d be amazed how much good will you will get when you offer to help set the table, assist in the kitchen or take on the smallest of tasks. Just understand that if you are told to, “get out of the kitchen” that is exactly what it means. Nothing drives the cook more crazy then everyone ignoring that statement. Trust me I know since I am usually the cook!
• Just Because You Have a Mouth, You Don’t Need to Use It
  Learning to bite your tongue is a crucial skill for getting through life. Just because someone does something stupid, says something inappropriate or is acting like a complete idiot doesn’t mean you have to respond. When this happens just quietly ignore it and move on. You’ll thank me later for that.

I’ve got to go pick up my turkey from Out Post Farm tomorrow and I can’t wait. I wished there was a way to capture the magical smell of pies that fill their shop every year. Absolutely amazing.

I hope that each and every one of you has a happy and fun filled Thanksgiving. What other tips would you give for holiday survival?

No related posts.

I like just laying around on the weekend as much as the next guy, but sometimes we need to get things done. Sometimes it is the famous honey do list type of things, but sometimes there are things that we want to get done on our own.

I have found that to maximize the chance of success there are a few things you need to do.

1. Set Clear Goals
   The more vague your goals are, the more likely you won’t get them done. Be as specific as possible. Don’t set the goal of “make a sit down dinner.” Instead set it as “make a dutch oven pot roast for dinner.” Being specific up front focuses you even more on the end goal.
2. Make a List (in your head doesn’t count)
   This can be on a sticky note, whiteboard or the nearest scrap of paper, but putting it down on paper makes it more likely to happen. This is extra important if you have more then one goal because you can check them off as you complete them. This gratification will help you push forward.
3. Don’t Do Too Much
   A million tiny tasks or a handful of major ones will both kill you. Don’t give into the temptation to try and do too much. Recognize your limitations and set the right number of goals. Nothing sucks more then having to push something off to the next weekend.
4. Tell Other People Your Goals
   When you are accountable to someone, it is a great motivator. It is very easy to tell yourself you are going to do something, but the more people you tell the more likely you are to stay focused and succeed.
5. Celebrate Victory
   When you complete a group of tasks or at the end of the weekend when your list is all checked off be sure to reward yourself. It might be something simple like sitting down for a beer break or some time playing video games. Just be sure to congratulate yourself.

What got me thinking about all this was the final project for the #SonyDads initiative in which we were suppose to take part in a field trip with our families and document it. Every time we went to do this the weather was horrible and so I figured I’d document a rainy weekend in our house instead since I was out of time and options.

In the end it was a boring weekend, but it was a productive one for me as you can see in the video where I cleaned up my office and set up my photography closet. Interesting how starting out in one direction ended up with this.

The video was filmed with with Sony HDR-XR500 camcorder. I’m really glad I got to check this unit out. It certainly delivers good results even when the guy behind the camera is me. *laugh*

This post is part of series called the “Sony DigiDads Project” by Sony Electronics where a group of dads, including C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, have been given the opportunity to test and review Sony gear. If you want to know more about this project, head on over to the Sony Electronics Community.

Related posts:

1. Grandfathers & Grandsons
2. 100 Faces
3. A Library in Your Hand

The first thing that came to mind, when five months ago my wife told me we were having a baby, was that everything changes.

In general I have no idea what will change or exactly what will be. What I do know is that this narrative, which is my life, is about to hit that point where the plot thickens and the twist will rearrange our whole hustle like an F-5 tornado.

Case in point — I no longer have the luxury of considering the passage of time in years. Time itself has changed. Everything is now measured in weeks.

When I mentioned to another pregnant couple we were five months along, they looked at me like I haven’t read the prenatal equivalent of The Handbook for the Living and the Dead.

Exercising my short-term thinking is a challenge for me in this situation. I tend to look at the big picture and consider things holistically. Just over four months from now, our son will be born. It would have been nine months that we were awaiting his arrival. At three months we heard him and saw him for the first time.

My natural tendency to consider things in longer terms is likely an inherent self-defense. Months take a while to pass. A week, however, is just a few days in total. Maybe this is why there are so many dead-beat-dads. Perhaps they wash-out before their child is born and are unable to cope when they finally arrive –because it all happens so fast.

What I have learned so far from this experience is that the more things grow, both literally and figuratively, the more micro they become when I regard them (and keeping things short has actually allowed me to wrap my frontal lobe around what our new life is going to be about).

As of today, we are 21-weeks into the pregnancy.

Marinate.

No related posts.